The B&G Public Speaking Competition

I've just watched the annual Burton and Garran Hall public speaking competition. There were eight speakers who each had seven minutes to make their point, whatsoever it was, in-front of an audience of their peers and a panel of three judges. What follows is my recollection of the speakers most important (from my perspective) points.

The first speech (by the president of the residents association) advocated that hall residents be held accountable not to the laws of the land, but to a special code of our own. This lead him to propose that we would then need a group to police these laws, a group of Student Storm-troopers ("an SS", if you will). His last point was a suggestion that this "SS" would need a strong, reliable, dedicated person to set the laws and to lead their enforcement. He finished with a "Thank-you" (after a hastily stifled "Danke").

The second was a rather humorous speech about terrorism. It began with a brief discussion of some of the more inept members of the intelligence, security and governmental communities and moved on to a brief discussion of terrorism and security. While the speaker got in a few good points (and a laugh or two) the later part of the speech focussed on humorously portraying some prominent residents as "terrorists".

The third speaker took on the problem of global poverty. With a number of appalling statistics (that 70 children died of malnutrition during the speech, for example) and some good rhetoric, he made well the point that it is revolting that one in two people exist in abject poverty (surviving on less than $2 per day) when so much is spent on weapons. This speaker won second place and a prize of $100.

The fourth talk discussed Barbie and her recent break-up with Ken. Perhaps, the speaker posed, this is a sign that Mattel is attempting to make the world Barbie and her friends more resemble the one in which we live, to make their live more resemble the way we live ours. Or perhaps, she countered, it is an attempt in marketing driven by the fact that the boyfriend is no-longer popular with the target audience.

The fifth speaker told us about that cornerstone of modern technology (and comedic practice): the screw. This lively, entertaining talk took us back to the screw's invention in ancient Greece, through its use in war and peace to the development of the more modern varieties that surround us today. He ended with an exhortation that we all "keep screwing" and was awarded first place and the prize of $150.

The sixth contender returned to the discussion of global poverty. While his talk was amusing and he raised some valid points (contending that Bob Geldof is going the wrong way about ending poverty) I didn't pay much attention and so this brief mention will have to do.

The seventh brave soul to face us attempted to show that "the structure and the perception of time are invalid." A noble and learned topic but one which I am not sure can be covered in seven minutes. In her talk, the speaker appeared to conflate a number of concepts (time and our perception of it being the chief example) drawing on the weakness of one subjective definition of the present, proposing another point out that they are mutually exclusive (which is not, in my opinion, the case) and moving on from that "contradiction" to assert that time does not exist.

The eighth and final speaker (and the winner of $50 and third place) spoke to us of the game of murder (hunting your assigned target with a water-pistol whilst avoiding your own assassin) and the fear it caused, of spending hours lurking in wait only to find you she was waiting in the wrong building, of deciding that food and bathing were really that important -- "it's only five days." A very funny speech about fear and its role as both a motivator and an inhibitor of our actions.